They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
