i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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