also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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