So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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