he shaved USA in his pubs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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