I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
