Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
