Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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