Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
