1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Terrible idea I love it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
