all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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