you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
