I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
