If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
