holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
