If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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