Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
