Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
