3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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