You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
