He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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