So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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