using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We talked him into tasing himself.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
