What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
