i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
