Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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