We're like a lot better than the average bears
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
