do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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