is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
