I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
