You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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