I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Randomize
