He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
