She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
