yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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