Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize