Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
