in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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