I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
