hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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