you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
