he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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