Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize