Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
