I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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