If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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