so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize