mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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