I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
