Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I understand Curling. That high.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
