Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
