trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
