i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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