Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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