Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
