he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
