How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
