I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
