I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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