Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
