would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
