so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
