sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
