Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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