I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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