just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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