Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
