it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
