4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
