There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize