Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
