It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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