Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize