I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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