Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
